Thursday, February 13, 2020

Lessons from my biology class

It takes two to tango is an idiom that I have heard since I was little child, it made more sense in my late teen years and early adult life as I have seen that it takes two people who are intentional to make a relationship work.

When I say relationship here, I don't mean only love-relationship, I mean all kinds of relationship that we have from family to friendship to the relationship at work or church and so on and so forth. Where ever and however the interaction might come about we need to be deliberate and intentional. 

I have put all the different relationships I have had into two broad groups. I have done this based on lessons from my biology class in secondary school. I know there are a lot more than two types of ecological relationships but from my understanding of humans, I have come to the conclusion that our relationships are either parasitic or mutually symbiotic. I will explain further:

I. A relationship is parasitic when only one person or party does the work of building, watering, celebrating, sharing information and what have you while the other person or party just benefit from all of these and fails to reciprocate. This folk or these folks would zap and keep zapping and taking without ever giving back or returning the favour. In this instance, the first person can be referred to as the host while the other person is a parasite.

II. However, in a mutually symbiotic relationship both parties do the work and mutually benefit from the relationship, no one feels left out as the work of building the relationship is on the shoulders of both parties and not relegated to only one party. Everyone involved is usually intentional about growth and I will say this is the kind of relationship I'd like. 

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."Morrie Schwartz, from Tuesdays with Morrie

I want to have friends who will go all out for me like I will for them, I don't want to feel like the host or parasite as it may, in my friendship, relationship, family, workplace, church and wherever it is I will be. Sometimes we enjoy being the parasite because we are getting all the goodies that we didn't work and that's a nice place to be but not for so long, as overtime our host will get worn out like the host from the parasitic relationship in biology class. So what do we do find another host?

Let's not be the person that would only come around when they need to zap, be the person that is always there. I hope we grow in our relationships and have mutually beneficial relationships henceforth. 

Happy Valentine.

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