Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Speak the truth even if it hurts.


 Fourth chapter from my Development Management journal
           
When I get to a new environment, be it a school, an office, a church wherever it could be I am often quite and I observe, but as time passes I see myself being able to talk well and easily with the people around, I interact well with class-mates, colleagues, church members, housemates and people generally. It often doesn't last though, there would be a issue of me not trusting them, because I open up easily and too fast. I didn't have a barricade for my communication I would just say it as I feel and not care who it hurt or what it affected so long am saying my mind. And its funny how I would not tell them these things in person I would always communicate over text messages most times. I would spill fire in my text. I was concerned about making friends so soon but not concerned about keeping them, if I felt offended my someone they stop being my friends I won’t talk to them, call, text them and even if I do it would be to cause more harm, by identifying the problem the way I see it fit, their opinions didn't matter, I would take the whole air tie and talk and talk until my words get to make no sense and I am stuttering or blabbing.
            I didn't know what supportive communication was so I didn't make use of it, I was just an ineffective communicator, my friends thought I was selfish and just thought of myself as being perfect and they would not understand what I was saying at all, we would get misunderstandings and every time we would go home angry and sad. I always thought it was their fault they didn't understand my method of communication.
If I want to correct someone’s wrong behavior I mostly did it in public and it just would not add up, they thought I was mocking them and trying to make fun of them, it was just wrong and sad I failed at delivering the message and they equally failed at understanding it.
I focused on honest answers to questions, but they were really blunt so invariably I think that upset people because they want to hear the truth but of course sugar-coated with lies and I don’t know how to play well in that game my answers, responses were very congruent
I am not going to state that I focus on the person or am problem-oriented I swerve between this two depending on the issue and time for instance if someone is trying to understand a difficult course lets say Electrolyte compounds in physics, and I give you two-third of my day and you don’t do well in the exam though the course is difficult I would suggest the person has difficulty too understanding fast, maybe the person is a slow learner, hearing the fact I thought him a day to the test. It is both ways in this situation.
I own my statement and my talk, and I use specific sentences when addressing a very important issue, I seldom maybe almost never use global and disowned form of statements to address an issue.
Though I am not a validating communicator I am not an invalidating one either, I think I am on the thin line that differentiates one from the other. I am a conjunctive listener because I try to relate my next statement to the previous one the other party said based on the issue on ground I try to make sure my gist and talk are interrelated to that of the person or people am communicating with. I never get to talk of irrelevant, senseless talk that are not related whatsoever. I used to though, but these days am getting a hold of myself to think twice before I say anything so as not to be irrelevant to be my listener.
I use genuine statements these days I won’t sugar coat you if I feel what you are doing is wrong, I don’t care what you think of me, some say am heartless especially the male friends I have, because I just refract totally when I see our friendship wants to go elsewhere maybe into a relationship I would just bluntly refract and say No, i would tell them whole hog am not caught for this type of game and it doesn't interest me and how it is not healthy for students to start dating, when they have not had a grasp on other areas of their life and this gets them upset, because they think by buying gifts of clothes, shoes, chocolates they can woe you, they don’t know with time comes responsibilities and right now the time is for serious academic work, no joking, no faulting, no failing all I want to do now is win, win and win again. I would not just wake up one morning and say I want to date a guy, not like he has anything to offer, just wants to tickle my fancy, gets what he wants to get and move on. I am just amazed and I laugh at myself because I once thought I was in love but really it was pure infatuation and nothing more, it was healthy for me or for the  guy in question and I told him how what we’re doing was not healthy for us and our academics and he flared up saying he knew it, I told someone else about us and he just muttered and blabbed like a child I was totally pissed he said lot of bullshit and I just worked out. Its crazy how someone says they love you and they just do total bullshit. It just doesn't fit the jig-saw, and I would tell you completely how bad it has been I would remember every detail and just spit it like wild fire, sometimes over the phone but most times over texts. I did that a lot.
If I have few friends today its because I cut most of them out through the nasty, annoying text messages I would send. Things I would not be able to man up to tell them in person I would over texts. It just robbed in so deep and so hurtful. To me texts are modern day letters. It worked in the centuries past. You send letters to communicate things and now I would use the text instead but I realized it is not so good an approach as I should be able to communicate on a face-to-face channel without fears of any kind.

CONCLUSION: I never ever deny that am angry, I would spill up just the way I feel, I would flair up and shout crazily just as exactly as I feel. I would hide no feelings of any kind. I don’t give artificial answers when am been counselled or coached. I give honest answers as much as I can, the joy in speaking the truth knows no bounds, it just melts in no time to double check your statements, because that is what lies does to someone you have to think hard so you don’t contradict yourself. Speak the truth and live freely.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015


POWER
Power what everyone wants, be it a child in a classroom, or an adult in an office, or a teenager in the baseball court. We all crave power insensibly, without really understanding what power entails, the many responsibilities a person holding power has to do. The ups and downs of handling power, the many critics and expectations you get, the people you have to report to on the use of power. We all want to be powerful!!! Don’t we?
Yes, power is every students craving, I would want to be powerful academically, and socially, I want to be world known for my academic performance and creative ideas. I want to sit on the citadel of power and push buttons and see people work for me as subordinates and as co-workers. It doesn’t matter how long, I know I would get there by God’s special grace. Amen.
It just hurts when after we have craved for power for so long, and we finally get it we abuse it, we mismanage it and fail to plan properly for the use of power. We use power ineffectively. I feel I have abused power when I underestimate a person, or talk ill of them because of my position over them, I want to be a powerful woman who doesn’t ride her subordinates but loves them tries her best to show them love, and treat them equally. It sounds impossible though because in my drive to treat everyone equally I might get no respect and may even lose my power.
I have attained some kind of power in my life due to my academic performance, somewhat it has made me stand out, and also my inborn marketing skills. I could market a dog’s pop. I would tell you the so many unnoticed attribute of it, I would convince you that the smell is awful but awesome, how it would be good to spread it on your green and the result is out of this world. I am so good at that, and also my fast typing skills have made me distinct where ever I go and the need for a good, fast typist is needed. It just shines so bright and I am overly missed and wanted back when I leave, because no one does the job as good as I would.
I have attained some sort of power also because of my rapport with people, be it familiar faces or not. I just dont know how to keep calm if i see something beautiful on a person I would start a conversation, i would start a topic of discussion and over time i have gathered some sort of popularity and respect for myself. Not so good though, because whenever things fail to happen as planned and the outcome is not good the news spread like wild fire and it just irritates me so much. With power comes respect, popularity, joy, and sometimes reproach, I know my good spirit has made me some friends which attracted power, because ceaseless times people would say “Rotimi you have a good spirit” keep it up and all that, those words keep me going and it provides me the strength I need when all falls and things fails me. I have discovered I have an agreeable-behaviour and I can work well with anyone and everyone so long we are headed the same direction and willing to get the same goal out of what brings us together.
I have developed this motive that I should always win in whatever project I embark on, if the least happens I know I tried at least. I always work with the mindset that I should not fail any project am working on be it a small quiz or a big graduate test, whatever it may be I always want to win, it has helped me shield my mind towards positivity and success. Great things start from small beginnings and hence it’s very possible for me to start small and be discouraged but because I know where I see myself, the power I have imagined to possess it keeps me going and I won’t just stop for a second or be discouraged I am so determined for success that my dreams scare me. My dreams are just too big a dream to be thought of by anyone or even group of individuals who brainstorm.

CONCLUSION: I have being given power and overtime I become influential in any environment I find myself in, it could be an office, a classroom, a church or sport team. It just happens that I gain power subconsciously and I use it well and effective funny enough, I got those remarks from friends and loved ones that I am a good leader and am looked up to and am their mentor and this and that. Holding on to these I try so hard not to mess with the power I am being given or mismanage it and whenever I feel I have failed to use my power effectively and efficiently well I always take steps back and check my ways again on where I have gone wrong and where I should focus on that is having faults. In doing so I have been able to finish well and beautifully to the Glory of Lord I have attained listless leadership positions.


Monday, January 12, 2015

Gifts

Gfts
God created each and every one of us with a specific plan in mind. He programmed and equipped us with certain powers and abilities to enable us fulfil his plan for our individual lives. When we discover, pursue and actualize this divine plan, utilizing our innate powers, ifts and abilities, we automatically position ourselves on the path of success.
The responsibility to position yourself on this path rests on you. God will not do it for you. Some people spend their lives out of God’s purpose because they refuse to utilize the gifts He has blessed them with. Your gifts will lie dormant until you stir them up, When you stir up and begin to put your gifts to use, you will set yourself on a supernatural course to fulfill your destiny in life.
Your gifts are instrument of power, success creating agents. They will lift you to heights that nothing else can take you. God works through your gifts to lift, promote and bless you.
The gift of a man will make room for him and bring him before great men. Proverbs 18:16
Your innate ability or gift is what elevates, makes a way, creates a path and opens a door for you to succeed. You have a gift inside if you screaming for expression. To make a headway in life, you must ask yourself “What am I really good at, what will distinguish me and set me apart as special and unique in a lineup of my friends? What can I do best?”
Make a list of all the gifts, talents and abilities you possess. Narrow your area of strength down to at least one gift and concentrate all your energies on it. When you develop this gift, you will begin to make-extraordinary progress in life. This gift will take you to the top.
Culled from “my favorite book”

letter to a future friend

€I have to write a letter to a friend and this it, I hope someday I have a friend that reads this and it makes meaning to him/her.


Dear Future Friend,
You are my friend and you are so special to me,
You may not realize it, but you have enriched my life in so many ways.
You have being a defender to me in so many ways, your words of encouragement, counseling, teaching, mentorship has no bound.
I cherish it all. You have also taught me that everything is possible even if it takes long, you made me see the true meaning to these adage “Delay is not denial”.
I admire the way you talk, walk and smile, there are done undemonstratively and quietly but are subtly unique and beautiful and I am honored to have you in my life.
Also I miss you. If you are open to it, perhaps we could take a long walk in the evening when the clouds seem perfect sometime soon? I’d love that.
With affection and deep friendship.
Rotimi

Friday, January 9, 2015

love letter

So There is something new on some letter writing stuff I subsribed to. When it comes to writing you can never get it  wrong. So yesterday it was love letter writing day. This is my love letter.
Dear lover,
When I am near you, I feel like am at my best, that feeling is unbeatable.
When I am apart from you. I feel like am fallible and imperfect.
I adore the way you talk, walk, sit, eat, sleep, smile, and your charisma incomparable and I feel completely perfect when you are around.
I don't think you realize how absolutely adorable you are when you laugh, the whole world gets excited with your bright gleaming grin.
Thank you for being my sweet heart, my darling friend, my coco bunny that's a special name we both know the meaning, and my true love.
I love you.
Rotimi

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

How I found my niche?
Work or Pay and Career or Grades.
My last semester in college was my best semester, each moment was full of joy knowing I would be done with undergrad soon. I had extra courses on my school schedule because I wanted to, I had banking and finance courses while my major was Management Information Systems. Some of my friends and course-mates thought it was not a good match. I would have thought so too when I had 50% on my first quiz while the rest of the class had above 80%, that didn't weigh me down. It was my first time in life doing something I want, finally I chose a career path I love "Banking and Finance".
    I should have long been a commercial or business inclined student, I guess in SS 1 or grade 10 but peer pressure wouldn't. I remember vividly being advised my form mistress in Junior secondary school and Business studies teacher; Mrs Pam. She told me "you have good grades on your Business studies, you should be in commercial class" but how would I want to hid to her advice when I thought the science students rule the world and all my friends were headed to the sciences. I didn't want to fall my hand, I needed to belong there. Maybe that was not all to me being strong headed coupled with the fear of Accounting the same Accounting I did and had A's on, this time even much tougher than the one I feared.
Lesson " Don't let fear have you at anytime thread that path even it means going alone, never follow the crowd, be open to mentors and teachers. They see your weakness and strength let them guide you through.


Second part
It all paid off though no regrets, no knowledge is wasted, trust me God's grace saw me through high school as a "Science student". Then reality dawned on me, my major in college was civil engineering. Whoop!!! I studied, I prayed, I studied again and prayed much more, I had a spot in the library but trust God you can never be what you are not even worse what God has not called you to be.
     Then second year in college I was determined to do something different didn't know what I wanted to do next, I wanted to change school and course my cousin advised I needed a change of environment to get a different result, she was so right. A friend's friend told me all the Engineering students she knew who wanted to change their majors' did Management Information System, she was not wrong either. I did so well my first semester that was a good sign for me I had beaten my old satisfactory grades to near best grades. I loved my new career path because my grades were superb.
    Two years passed and it was time to gain some theoretical knowledge, I wanted to do it somewhere different from where my school was, motherland beckoned come give back to where you have gotten so much. So I went to my home country and searched for an internship position. I went from office to office, street to street and finally I got a three month internship in Securities and Exchange Commission I chose to do my intern there because it offered the highest pay amidst the three offers I got and was closer to my home so I had to spend less. "Who doesn't like money?" Little did I  know it was all crafted by God. I worked two weeks in the Information Technology department then I was redeployed to Stock Exchange division specializing in Registration and Recognized Investment Department. And prior to coming.for my internship I already applied for a minor in school along side my Major, the puzzle then fit I knew what my minor would be "Banking and Finance", it all made sense, I had found a course I really love.
  Mrs Pam was right, how could she know I would make a good commercial student? Was I the best in her class? Did she love me the most? The answers to those questions are No, she knew because she loved her job. She had a passion for teaching. That is what happens when you love your job not just your pay!!!
Do you love your job or your pay?
Do you love your career or your grades?
This is a question I ask myself. If am not paid would I still do my job? If I don't get good grades would I still do this course? You should ask your self too.
I pray God Almighty places us on the right track in Jesus Name Amen.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

There is a place of success for you.
There is a place where you can express the fullest of the divinity in you. A place where your dreams can be realized. There is a place where your struggles will cease and you will produce positive results in your life almost effortlessly. There is a niche for you to discover and occupy in life. A niche is defined as "A situation or an activity specially suited to a person's interest abilities or nature".
     There is something God has specifically designed you to do with your life. There is a place, profession, career, business or endeavor where your gifting and talent will flourish and transform you into a shining star. This place is your niche. Fitting into your divine niche is the foundation for enduring success. Your vocation, profession, career or business when discovered becomes your niche. That is your ultimate calling. Success is simply fulfilling your calling in life. To succeed therefore, you need to take a closer, deeper look at your inner abilities, package and utilize them more creatively.
       Some people are precariously misplaced in career, business and in relationships. Some are misdirected, confused and under-utilizing their potentials. Some are in the wrong professions, studying courses they have little or no interest in because their parents, friends or colleagues told them to. They are pursuing careers that are taking them nowhere. They don't know what precisely to do to set them on the right track to fulfill their ultimate destiny in life.

   
       When you know where you are going in life, the world stands aside to let you pass and most times the world will even assist, aid and support the fulfillment of your life's calling. Read, think and take action. You can release the success within you.
   
     I would be writing on how I found my niche tomorrow by God's grace.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Learn something new each day.

Learn something new every passing day, it could be an hidden talent, or new set of words, read about a city, read about an icon, do something new everyday.
 Personally I have been learning something new since this year started, today I learnt some thing new, I drew something it looks beautiful I hope it looks beautiful to you too and you see the beauty in my art.
   Please drop your comments to let me know if I should keep drawing or get my hands on something else.


Sunday, January 4, 2015

Avoid Depreciation


Depreciation simply means reduction or decrease in value. A car that has been in use for four years, for instance, would certainly not have the same value as the one manufactured a month ago. Its soundness and monetary value would be less compared to the one-month-old car. Everything in life is expected to depreciate at some point except the Christian life. The moment you become a Christian, God expects you to continue in His Word, increase in His knowledge more and more and grow in His grace until you depart the world. He frowns at depreciation Psalm 78:57-59.
    The scripture refers to depreciation in the life of a Christian as backsliding, and as the word backsliding implies a sliding back it is a coasting downhill and not a jump off a cliff. That is, it's not instant or sudden, but a gradual process. It may begin with a general feeling of spiritual indifference Amos 6:1 such as skipping your Quite Time, or allowing your prayer life to be crowded out with other interests even innocent pastimes like reading and watching TV and later degenerate to compromising the truth of God's Word that you once firmly upheld.
   Depreciation or backsliding begins in the heart Proverbs 14:14. Often concealed in secret, it may remain hidden behind a facade of religiously. You may still be regular in Church services or even be active in church work, but your heart is filled with lust, jealousy, bitterness, and worldliness. If you don't take time out to examine yourself so that you can ascertain the state of your heart , it's just a matter of time before your spiritual condition eventually becomes evident externally (in cursing, lying, stealing, cheating, fighting, fornication, etc).
    So if you notice in you an apathy concerning spiritual matters, a decline in your devotion to God, or a compromise of the truth, cry to God for help immediately. Sincerely admit your backslidden condition before Him, plead for His forgiveness and revival, and then repent of your spiritual lethargy and compromise. After your repentance, maintain a consistent daily devotional life. Read and meditate on the Bible, and apply what you have read to your daily life and interaction with people.
     To emphasize what we said earlier, depreciation ultimately leads to decay; that is backsliding moves from little compromise of the truth to presumptions sin and consequently apostasy,  if you don't do a daily examination of your life. Daily self-examination helps you to know your standing before God, and to amend your life if you've depreciated or backslid.
Culled from Mirror.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

What it takes to be the number one:

Commitment: Winning is not a sometime thing, it's an all the time thing. You don't do things right once in a while... you do them right all the time.
Truth: truth is knowing that your character is shaped by your everyday choices.
Excellence: excellence must be pursued, it must be wooed, with all of ones might, with every bit of effort. Having the spirit and the will to excel, the will to win, these are the things that endure.
Results: winning is not everything, but making the effort to win is.
Passion: there is only one way to succeed in anything, and that is to give it everything.
Habit: the difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
Mental toughness: you have to be tough mentally to deal with things as they come. Life isn't fair deal with it. You may not be responsible for being knocked down, but its your responsibility to get up every time you fall.
Discipline: This is the difference between people, you need to be willing to sacrifice and pay the price.


Friday, January 2, 2015

Be productive, find yourself.

Productivity is a result of immeasurable effort put in your passion. Passion is derivative of your preferred likes or talents, we all have talents. Whatever you know how to do comfortably that gives you joy and makes you feel accomplished is your talent, cooking, dancing, singing, cleaning, washing, reading, watching movies. Your hobbies could be productive when you do them passionately. Improve on it, ask for God's grace and be diligent and you would see how productive you would become. Prov 22:29, if you are productive you would go places, you would stand before Kings, Presidents and influential men of valor you would dine with them and not mere men. You would be honored and people would want to reckon with you. I tell you there is something in you no one has because the secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. You have a special and unique attribute, find it and use it to be productive. The world needs your specialty, the world awaits your grand coming. Join the race of innovation, creativity and dominate the top.