Thursday, September 29, 2016

I went a day without complaining.

So lately I realized I had complained and whined more than I talked, it was affecting my work, friendship and my devotion with God. I knew I had to stop complaining, whining and fault finding because God didn't like it neither did my friends not colleagues.

So my first day of intentionally not complaining started out great till I got to the hospital, I was asked to get a queue number I did get that, waited patiently as I read a book. While reading, a staff of the hospital asked me to follow him as there was a doctor who was not attending to anyone on another floor. I went there with him with the anticipation to get attended to and get back to work in time. On getting there I asked "where is the doctor?" He quietly replied "Sorry madam, person don enter her office" this means sorry, someone is in the office to see the doctor. I then responded "why did you let me come down if..." I literally lost my speech there, I heard the Holy Spirit tell me "no complaints, not today" that was it I sat and smiled. I am sure the guy will be wondering what went wrong, some other lady across the passage had a big frown but the moment I smiled she smiled too.

Well, I happened to sit beside a little boy and his mum we exchanged pleasantries and I continued reading my book. Somehow as we waited, another lady in hijab walked by with her son, this other boy would not walk past, he stopped, smiled and stretched his hand to get some of the biscuits the kid beside me was eating, it was then I quickly reached for my phone to capture this beautiful moment of border less and uncompromising love.

This teaches me a lot, you share joy when you don't complain, people get comfortable around you and more importantly you see the beauty in humanity. Had it been I flared up or complained I will be in a downcast mood to have noticed the beautiful show of love happening around me and I will have missed out on letting the lady across the hallway smile at my smile. Lol cliche right? But I mean it.

PS: Do not complain today, I mean try it is hard and you will get tempted to but please don't fall for the temptation.

PSS: Sometimes for us to stop complaining we have to caught out some folks from our lives, people that trigger anger and complaints are not worth sinning and getting moody over. Just move on already.


Friday, September 23, 2016

Information is actually useless

Yes I wrote that right and you sure read it. Is it not true? Is information in itself not useless?‎
A comedy was about to play on your screen, and you skip it to read an article that seemed right. After reading, you realize you just lost time and a good laugh because there was no value for the information you acquired from the article. ‎

Again I ask, isn't information useless? Especially in these era of social media and technology craze where one has different bits of information flying in one's face.
This is a problem I call "information burden". This occurs when one has excess information and has no use for them. Even if one does, one becomes confused on what to do with what. Thus no use for the information one has or just obtained. That is no use of information and that is why it is useless.‎

I may be countered here because of the popular quote which is "information is power" and blah blah. I ask, show me the power you have with all the information you have. Not to say I don't read articles or posts, I sure do but I filter it, the title already gives a hint to what you are about reading. If it is not going to be an add why waste time on it? This problem of reading everything that comes our way is likened to doing many trades. "Jack of all trade, master of none". For information it will be "Reader of all, leader of none".‎

PS: Information is not useless if acted upon and used for the benefit of one or all.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

10 habits of utterly authentic people

Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” Wilde made it sound so simple, but living with authenticity is a real challenge.
To live authentically, you must own your actions and ensure that they align with your beliefs and needs. This can be a difficult thing to maintain when external forces pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable with or to be someone you’re not.
Most people have experienced the discomfort that comes with failing to behave authentically. Researchers from Harvard, Columbia, and Northwestern joined forces to measure this phenomenon scientifically. They found that when people failed to behave authentically, they experienced a heightened state of discomfort that’s usually associated with immorality. People who weren’t true to themselves were so distraught that they felt a strong desire to cleanse themselves physically.
It’s clear that our brains know when we’re living a lie, and like all lies, being inauthentic causes nothing but harm. But how do you start living authentically? That can be tough, especially if you’ve been playing a role for most of your adult life.
“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.” – Oprah Winfrey
Authentic people are deeply in tune with who they are and what they want. Their ability to live their life in harmony with their true selves comes from some clearly discernible habits that any of us can study and incorporate into our repertoire.
They help others to be their authentic selves. Authentic people don’t expect others to play a role either. They don’t make people feel as though they have to fit into a certain mold or to project a certain image to be a part of their lives. Their commitment to being authentic gives other people the freedom to live authentically too.
They let go of negative people. Authentic people have too much self-respect to put up with people who treat them badly or have ill will toward them, and they have too much respect for other people to try to change them. So they let go—not out of anger, but out of their need to be true to themselves.
They express their true feelings and opinions, even when they’re not popular.Authentic people don’t live a go-along-to-get-along lifestyle. They’re simply not capable of acting in a way that’s contrary to what their principles dictate, even if there are repercussions. They prefer not to lie to other people, and they especially can’t lie to themselves. This means that they’re willing to live with the repercussions of staying true to themselves.
They are confident. Much social anxiety stems from the fear we have of being “found out.” We’re afraid that somebody is going to discover that we’re not as smart, experienced, or well-connected as we pretend to be. Authentic people don’t have that fear. Their confidence comes from the fact that they have nothing to hide. Who they appear to be is who they really are.
They prefer deep conversations to meaningless chatter. Eleanor Roosevelt nailed this one. She once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” You won’t find authentic people gossiping about others or giving their opinions on the latest celebrity scandals. They know all of that stuff is nothing more than cultural trappings, and they choose to talk about things that matter.
They don’t take anyone’s advice without evaluating it carefully first. It’s not that authentic people aren’t willing to take advice; they are. But they don’t put that advice into action just because other people have. First, they’ll run it through the wringer from a critical perspective so that they can be sure it makes sense for them.
They don’t complain about their problems. Complaining is what you do when you think that the situation you’re in is someone else’s fault or that it’s someone else’s job to fix it. Authentic people, on the other hand, are accountable. They understand that they—and no one else—are responsible for their own lives, so there’s no point in complaining.
They’re internally motivated. Authentic people don’t sit at their desks thinking, “Well, if my boss would just make this job worthwhile, I’d do a better job.” The carrot-and-stick approach just isn’t relevant to them. They’re motivated from within. 
They make the best out of any situation. Authentic people have a very firm grasp on reality. When things don’t go their way, they don’t get trapped in denial, and they don’t sit around whining about how things should be different. They simply take stock of the way things are and, if there’s nothing they can do to change the situation, they figure out a way to make the best of it.
They don’t get stressed or upset when someone doesn’t like them. It’s never fun accepting that someone doesn’t like you, but a lot of times that discomfort comes from trying to figure out what you did wrong or how you can fix it. Authentic people don’t have that anxiety because they would never try to change themselves to influence someone else’s opinion. They accept that other people have a right to be authentic about their own feelings, even if those feelings are negative toward them.
Bringing It All Together
Living authentically is a perpetual challenge that yields great rewards. It’s a noble path that you won’t regret following.
What are the benefits of living authentically?

Written by: Dr Travis Bradberry

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Fear begets Lie

So I was on a road trip early in the week, and the driver was sporting out things from his mouth. Out of fear of being spat on, I told him to be careful as he had spat on me. Immediately I said that the Holy Spirit cautioned me as I had just lied, so I told him he didn't spit on me but he should be careful so he doesn't spit on me. I then thought retrospectively for every lie I told, it was out of fear of one thing or the other. I didn't want to know what the after effect will be so I lied to prevent the negative outcome I had feared. Then it dawned on me. I lie because I am afraid, and I  am assuming that for everyone. If you think deeply, you lie out of fear, it could be fear of losing out of something good or fear of not been tagged as whimp or fear of not been asked to redo your task. It all boils down to fear, If my assumption works across board.
Fear surely does beget lie.‎

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

I am called the Preacher's kid

Yeah I am a Preacher's kid (PK), I was called that in my undergraduate days, most of my classmates and friends called me a Preacher's kid. They will say I was very polite, jovial, sincere, helpful, decent and I loved church. Those attributes definitely made me a Preacher's kid. I always smiled and hoped the discussion ended there, which did most times.

Back then I was struggling with certain bad habits which made me somewhat unworthy of the name I was called. And no one saw that I will presume. They rather saw the beauty in my ashes.

Well that phase of "living not so right" passed and I was right on track as I should. That didn't change the preachers kid tag. When I started work, a senior colleague asked if my mum was a teacher? I smiled and said "yes, she's a teacher in church". He said "exactly", thats why I behave the way I do and say the things I say. I was stunned because this brought the good memories of being called a preacher's kid back.

I am really wondering what makes me different from my peers and makes me stand out.

Everyone compliments me for being beautiful, smart and responsible, the latter never eluded the compliment. I get praised for decent dressing. I sometimes get called 'Mary'. I will think that's good, ohh wait! I am not thinking, I know it's good. ‎

I am called a preachers kid, that sure gladdens my heart. I am curious to know what you are called. What do people call you?‎