Thursday, February 20, 2020

Delayed gratification

As a child, I often kept my chocolate bar, cookie or snack till later. I would bring it out like a treasured jewel when others had finished theirs and long-forgotten they were candies given. It always felt like a treasure of some sort when I brought mine out, I would usually do this in grand style and I will begin to nimble it slowly with panache, I am sure all that did spite the fast, non-patient eaters. I know this is more like self-delayed gratification but from these childhood experience I realized how much it meant to save now and enjoy later,

Photo by from Pexels

I did practise this with my secondary school served meals as well as I did not like certain foods, however, I had to eat then during agro period (A week or two to visiting days when you out of provisions) and I always used the meat on my meal as a gratification to be enjoyed later after my meal. The meat was usually fried fish or beef. I would eat this last and nimble on it slowly so the juices slowly burst into my mouth. Back then I used the meat as a reward for eating the not so delicious and appetizing meals we got served. Over the years I have used this method in real-life cases like studying so hard, being diligent at work and what have you. 

I know it is never easy to work for so long and not get some sort of reward or recognition, but eventually, this things come and when it does, it just feels right you would be feeling like a young child eating a chocolate cookie when others had finished theirs. You will be glad you waited as you will be greatly rewarded. 

 "Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Delayed gratification could also be when you work hard in school or at work and the result you get is not immediate but it eventually comes in good grades or promotion and recognition. Sometimes you would have forgotten you worked so hard for the rewards you are getting. Those beautiful and bountiful rewards eventually come and you will be glad you did not hurry or take short cuts. 

I will like to leave with this eventually your cookie is going to be yours it's been handed to you by the creator. It might not be in your reach now but it definitely not out of your reach. 

Thursday, February 13, 2020

Lessons from my biology class

It takes two to tango is an idiom that I have heard since I was little child, it made more sense in my late teen years and early adult life as I have seen that it takes two people who are intentional to make a relationship work.

When I say relationship here, I don't mean only love-relationship, I mean all kinds of relationship that we have from family to friendship to the relationship at work or church and so on and so forth. Where ever and however the interaction might come about we need to be deliberate and intentional. 

I have put all the different relationships I have had into two broad groups. I have done this based on lessons from my biology class in secondary school. I know there are a lot more than two types of ecological relationships but from my understanding of humans, I have come to the conclusion that our relationships are either parasitic or mutually symbiotic. I will explain further:

I. A relationship is parasitic when only one person or party does the work of building, watering, celebrating, sharing information and what have you while the other person or party just benefit from all of these and fails to reciprocate. This folk or these folks would zap and keep zapping and taking without ever giving back or returning the favour. In this instance, the first person can be referred to as the host while the other person is a parasite.

II. However, in a mutually symbiotic relationship both parties do the work and mutually benefit from the relationship, no one feels left out as the work of building the relationship is on the shoulders of both parties and not relegated to only one party. Everyone involved is usually intentional about growth and I will say this is the kind of relationship I'd like. 

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."Morrie Schwartz, from Tuesdays with Morrie

I want to have friends who will go all out for me like I will for them, I don't want to feel like the host or parasite as it may, in my friendship, relationship, family, workplace, church and wherever it is I will be. Sometimes we enjoy being the parasite because we are getting all the goodies that we didn't work and that's a nice place to be but not for so long, as overtime our host will get worn out like the host from the parasitic relationship in biology class. So what do we do find another host?

Let's not be the person that would only come around when they need to zap, be the person that is always there. I hope we grow in our relationships and have mutually beneficial relationships henceforth. 

Happy Valentine.

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Walk the talk with your AP

I have been caught in conversations where people are sharing their goals, dreams, plans and what have you and many times I am also prompted to share my two cents. 

Sometimes I get too carried away at that moment and I say things I ought not to like plans I have not prayed about or figured how it would be executed. It is all beautiful to talk and dream of what those things could be like when achieved yeah? However, the real work is getting on your feet and putting your acts together to get that desired results, even more, surpassing your initial goal. I love to challenge myself by talking so that someone can pick something I have said and call me to action if I am flopping or dragging my foot rather putting my best foot forward. 

The amazing thing, about having such conversations with people who care and desire growth for you, is that they will hold you accountable to things you said you were working on or will work on, sometimes they could help you if you are stuck. I have been blessed with awesome folks who take it to heart to check on my success and my growth. It is because of such calls, messages and reminders from these special humans, that I continually strive to be better and walk the talk. 

Do you have people in your life who hold you accountable? Do you know people who strive to be better and ensure you are not left behind? These folks are a little bit more than friends, I'll love to call them accountability peers (AP), who hold me to my word and ensure to check on my progress as I reciprocate.

They are divine and amazing and in doing so they are not comparing or creating an envious avenue that makes you uncomfortable in whatsoever way. They are growing as you are growing, moreover, they are doing it with sincerity and pureness of heart. They are not paid to do so but they do, they are doing and will still do, right?

I love my APs and I am glad I have them in my life if you do have them, please cherish them and If you don't have them please get them. You can also try to be an AP to someone and before you know it you will have a good number of APs yourself.

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Cooking my first meal.

The first meal I made was not noodles or toast bread like most folks my age, it was dodo "fried plantain". No, I did not plan to do that.  It happened that my mum got a call and she needed to be there as soon as possible. So I got called to the kitchen to monitor the plantain she had put in hot oil. I was a bit short to see what was sizzling in the pan, so I stood on an apoti "a wooden stool usually used in most kitchens in southwestern Nigeria".

It was beautiful watching the yellow plantains turn into golden brown and having to turn it onto the other side to let it fry. Before my mum left the house she showed me how to take out the plantains, turn off the cooker and she left trusting I will do all that she showed me.

So that was it, I had officially made my first meal and it was dodo. I have since learnt to cook other meals after that time but dodo still stays on the list of my favourite food.

Tell me, what was the first meal you cooked? Did it burn? Did you overcook it? Was it perfect? Did you add too much pepper? or salt? Common share with me, I'd love to hear your first food tales.

Thank you, have a beautiful day.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

I fought for my food

If you read my previous post you would be confused as to why a girl who can give up her lunch would fight over food. I am as surprised as you are, but this happened.

I was two or three years old, I definitely cannot remember any part of the story but my mum, aunt and cousins told me it happened so it did happen. We were served dinner, it was swallow and soup and you know how in most Nigerian homes, the older folks sit on the sofa and the kids would be seated on the floor in the sitting room. That is the setting we had in my grandmother's home where this event happened. My grandmother was eating and my cousin and I sat somewhere on the carpet at some corner eating aswell.

All of a sudden my cousin picked my meat (must have been beef) and my grandmother called out to my mother who was in the kitchen to come to see her kids but, in that split second before my mother arrived I served justice.


Young Timi dipped her fingers in the soup and aimed straight for her cousin's eyes, my cousin could not continue the trip from my plate to her mouth and so the meat fell from her hand the instance my hand reached her eyes. How sad is that, but Timi picked her meat ignoring the scream of pain from her cousin. 

Sincerely, I do not have any memory of this. Well, not like anyone can remember what they did when they were two, however, I still feel embarrassed and bad every time I hear this story from my folks. I am sorry, cousin. I was fighting for what was mine, my meat.

It is silly that while fighting for some piece of meat I almost got someone's eyes injured, and so is it in the real world we fight for little things and ignore the greater things.

I hope you learn a thing or two from this story. Sometimes you have to let the meat go to keep the eye.

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

My teacher ate my lunch

Okay, not in a greedy or manipulative way. She actually helped me.

When I was younger up until a few years ago now I hate seeing onions in my food. Unlike my mama, she loves to see it as much as she loves to eat it. I try to eat onions when it is blended or raw and thinly sliced with Nigerian suya, you'll get this if you are like me. If my onions are not in suya or blended into the food. You will see me pick out the onions or set it aside on my plate.

Photo source: BBC 

Let's go to the main gist, I was 4 or so in nursery school and I will always pick out the onions from my food bowl. I got home most days tired in the afternoon forgetting the separation techniques I had performed in school but my mum's scream and whip will help me remember in a flash.
This happened always, somedays I was asked to eat the already cold onions. Ohhhh I hated onions so much more eating the picked out cold ones.

On one fateful day in class, my teacher saw me crying as the onion portion in my plates had miraculously doubled so it was even harder to perform my well-known technique.

With a heart(stomach) full of love(hunger) she offered to help me eat my food. I knew what this meant if I had no capri-sonne which I mostly never had. I wouldn't have anything for lunch but at this point, I had to make a choice of either eating cold onions which sometimes had a good portion of the food after being whipped or having an empty clear plate with nothing to eat and no whipping after school. I choose the latter and as they say, the rest is history.

My mum is a caterer, and am sure my teacher must have had a good serve of La Miam food but I didn't care my well-prepared lunch was going for nothing. I was happy she helped me with my food as my mum would see an empty plate and be glad I ate all of my food and the onion.

Thank you, teacher, wherever you are. I don't know how I survived my 2 to 3 years in that school without lunch on days when I had onion-filled food. God must have pumped my stomach up by some sort of miracle.

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Blurry pictures

I recently started taking pictures of beautiful flowers, trees and structures around town, however when I am walking briskly, or in a moving vehicle, my camera can't focus on the trees, the pictures I capture end up being blurry.

I initially deleted the blurry pictures from my phone but over time I have left them as they equally have their abstract beauty.

It didn't take long to learn a lesson or two from the blurry pictures on my phone, sometimes the current snapshot of our lives looks blurry and doesn't have that obvious beauty we seek, but over time we will appreciate the blurriness and the abstractness of those pictures of our life as they make us grateful for the clear high definition pictures we are used to. A blurry picture could be anything in your life that is far from perfect, we all have them and we hope they go away and get better and clearer but while they are there rather than delete them like they don't exist let us stop to improve them like take a pause when walking, hop from the bus or wait for the bus to stop so we get a clearer picture.

A blurry picture of a beautiful tree doesn't mean the tree is ugly or unsteady it only means the picture was not well captured so are those moments in our lives, our beauty doesn't disappear because of one blurry image. Do not let a particular picture of you, define who you are, you are much more than that picture, I mean that situation, job or whatever it is will get clear. You will excel and a better photograph will be taken at another time and then you will understand why that blurry picture was part of the gallery. A blurry picture is a phase it sure will pass too.

Happy new year, stay focused and capture beautiful pictures.
Love and light.

A beautiful blurry picture
When the Jacaranda trees sprouted colourfully and I paused to capture it.

A clear picture of Cape Byron bay light house
A blurry picture of the light house